Self Care is Not Selfish – A quick guide to lasting happiness.

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This morning as I was going about my busy business, being a Mum, Wife, Coach, cleaner, taxi, dog walker, I paused to think about what I was doing for my self. Of course all of this was in a way for myself, these were the roles I have chosen to won.
But what about the other me, the real me, the inside me?
Had I thought about what I needed today, so that I can be here to carry on with my busy-ness, my life, was I happy?
We are so used to hearing the same things, to be happy we must have a successful relationship, earn a great income, have a trim body, look good and all of that.
But the missing link is that we are all in need of more basic things, such as love, safety, belonging, kindness, laughter, better physical and emotional health. Depression and stress related illnesses are literally killing us, our happiness comes in short bursts, or focus is on what we don’t want and we have lost our way in creating the basic essentials for a happy life.
No amount of money, relationships, material things, treats and gifts will give you long term happiness if you haven’t taken care of yourself.
Self care is not selfish it is vital, if a mother neglects herself she neglects her children, if a father neglects himself he affects his children.
If you don’t care for yourself, take full responsibility for your well being, then you have a wobbly foundation, with cracks and holes, you will continually fall over and have to re build.
We all have the potential to avoid most illnesses, protect ourselves, build a strong mind and body, build resilience, stand tall and be all that we can be but sadly most of us don’t.
We blame, wait, hold on to and prevent ourselves form creating a healthier, happier life, hoping someone else will fix it, or one day when something else has changed you will.
It’s so simple to create a happier life for yourself and the people around you, just start by committing to some small daily habits of self care.
I knew an old lady who is 46years and a young lady who is 82years, her name is Gwen, she comes to my class every Friday, she embraces her life, she is strong, she is herself, she is love, she has courage and she is living a full life, showing us all it is possible.
The 46 year old, old lady, was afraid, she said she can’t she say’s she should but she does not, she felt unsafe, she did not love herself to be able to give to herself, she was me.
You can choose, you can make a few small changes or you can carry on accepting life is what happens to you, rather than you create your own life.
It takes courage to live a great life, because it takes effort and we stand out, but it’s your choice, sit and grow old before your time, or be like Gwen, get up and dance through life.
You have the power to create your own personal reality.
Don’t postpone happiness.
Here are a few of my suggestions the first few are taken form Deepak C, the rest are from me.

-Wellness is each person’s responsibility.
-Old age reflects your beliefs about it. Positive beliefs lead to a positive old age.
-Facing your personal issues has a huge impact on how healthy you will be in the future.
-What you don’t know gets repressed and creates emotional and physical difficulties. Your cells metabolize everything that happens to you.
-Life matches your conception of it. The mind shapes how events turn out, not vice versa.
– Making happiness a high priority.
– Making sure your life has purpose and meaning.
– Expanding your awareness in every decade of life.
– Devoting time and attention to personal growth.
– Following at least the minimal regimen of good diet and physical activity.
– Getting to know your inner world through meditation, contemplation, and self-reflection.
– Practicing gratitude and appreciation.
– Learning how to love and be loved.

* Celebrate the small wins not just the big.
* Forget the idea of being perfect or comparing yourself to others, instead be inspired by others.
* Let out anger, fear, tears, laughter and sorrow, they are all there to be felt.
* Have a pet.
* Give yourself quality time to shower, groom, wear quality clothes and throw away old tatty down days clothes.
* Take yourself down a different rd, path, walk a new place, even if it’s just the other side of your town, open your heart to another view.
* Stop and breath deeply every hour or so, practice stress management before you feel stress.
* Schedule in daily Self Care.
* Lead others by doing it yourself and demonstrating the positive affects.
* Work on your feelings not your ‘to do list ’ or add a feeling to your to do list.
* Smile.
* Release the need to be right, to be important, to be available, to comment.
* Be kind to yourself, when you make mistakes know that’s how we learn, it’s a good thing.
* Step outside of your comfort zone, embrace change and have courage.
* Learn how to be true, to be you, to harness the power within and be of greater service, by taking care of your needs first.
* Take time out to fully disengage from distractions every day, sit or walk in silence.
* Take responsibility for you, for your body, mind and life, no excuses anymore.
* Find positive relationships, get rid of negative ones.
* Be open to wisdom.
* Seek guidance.
Be flexible in body and mind.
Visualise yourself as you would love to be, see it clearly, what does it look like? How does it feel when you step into that?

Create daily rituals of self care, attend to you, your basic needs to be loved, lovable, safe, courageous, vulnerable, responsible and really begin to take charge of your life in ways that will help you release your true potential.
Self care is a simple idea that can change how you live tomorrow and every day after that.
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One thought on “Self Care is Not Selfish – A quick guide to lasting happiness.

  1. Pingback: Self Care is Not Selfish – A quick guide to lasting happiness. | caronandlife

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