Why Relationships are complicated.

For too long I misunderstood relationships, especially that of my most significant myself.
Which made it extremely difficult for my other most significant relationship, the one with my husband.
I used to believe a partner should bring us this and that and if they didn’t they were wrong, or something was wrong.
The hot, steamy chemistry fades, that’s how we are wired, then the persons true self is revealed. That’s where the real relationship is found.
I blamed my other half and other relationships for my frustrations, when all along I was forgetting my part, my role, my true self, my mistakes.
We do make silly so called love choices when we are intoxicated with the rush of happy addictive chemicals, I know I have been addicted to that too many times to mention.
So if you like me have been confused or are on that ride right now, have a think about what you are missing, what you are not giving yourself and are you expecting something from another relationship to fill up your love and happiness tank?
If you want to be happy focus on doing what truly makes you happy, if you want to be loved, be lovable, love yourself.

Aristotle described three types of relationships, which I believe are true.

Relationships of pleasure – In my words, these partners are all about the excess, sex, drugs, ra de ra…this is intoxicating, addictive and feels amazing, but it soulless, it is ego driven and for pleasure only. It will not deliver you a soul mate.
Relationships of utility – This is about a relationship where you are looking to gain something, status, image, money, power, again it is ego driven and soulless, think wolf of wall street. This is a status mate. Not so good for the long term.
Relationships of shared virtue – This is where your relationships/partner challenges and inspires you, helps you grow, supports you with truth and is there for you no matter how you look or how much cash you are earning. To me this is for the long term, in my relationships the people who I have shared this with are still in my life and heart.

Don’t get me wrong I remember the crazy days of addiction to what I thought was love, but I now see them as learning, as growth. I see them for what the were and what they needed to teach me.
You can still have crazy times, as long as you don’t mistake them for real relationships or love and as long as you are being honest with yourself.
Remember when you are looking for love or a relationship, look from your truth, look past the lust, the addiction, look for a soul mate 🙂


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