Stop trying to get over it , go through it.

let go

This week has been very painful for me, I am coming to terms with losing my Father in January but even harder on my heart was the departure of my eldest son Daniel who left home on Monday to join the NZ army.
I thought I was prepared but I realise you can’t be prepared for something that you have never known, when you have had a child and loved them for 18 years and they are suddenly gone, the bedroom bare and the bathroom clean.
Now don’t worry I am not some out of control wreck, just a lot derailed, but the grief of not being able to be in contact with your son because it’s the army is like no pain I have ever felt.
The army that strips your man child of his connections to family and friends, for all of our sakes they say-how kind.
I realized today that I am pleased I am not bulletproof, just because I am a coach does not exclude me from lifes pain and as a friend reminded me earlier, people forget, friends forget this.
Just as a hairdresser has a bad hair day, or a doctor get’s sick, none of us are bulletproof and thank God, because if I was so numb to the pain it would surely fester and turn into a shit storm of a health problem somewhere down the line.
So I allow the tears to fall, I talk to friends openly, pain is painful but it will heal if I give it air.
This tidal wave of grief is here to teach me to help me really understand heartbreak, so I can know how it feels so that I can grow and help others through their pain.
My message to you if you want a message is, don’t be afraid of the pain of relationship break ups, of losing a loved one, of letting go, it means you felt love, you knew love and no one can take that away.
It means you are able to love and be loved and that’s a precious gift.
As I work on my changing world I am more grateful than ever for the friendships I have found, for my husband and Joe my youngest son.
For these people are still here.
I would highly recommend you make more room in your life for those who are around you right now and for new people to come closer.
When the walls come tumbling down, who’s hand is there for you to hold and who are you there for?
Cherish yourself and the people around you who support you, nothing ever lasts forever, as another friend said, life is full of hello’s and good bye’s.( I have many wise friends :-).)
Be kind to yourself and if you are going through a painful time, let it out, talk it out, write it out and be patient, we may never get over somethings but we can move past it.


One thought on “Stop trying to get over it , go through it.

  1. Pingback: Stop trying to get over it , go through it. | caronandlife

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