“Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I’m not perfect and I don’t live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean.” – Bob Marley
One of the biggest lessons from this year and yes I know the year is almost over, is to stop expecting others to be who they aren’t or even more who I want them to be.
I have felt a ridiculous amount of pain and frustration because of my need for others to be a certain way.
When we expect others to be a certain way to fit our beliefs, we are setting ourselves up for a life time of frustration and pain.
This is where all types of relationships get into trouble. Whether it’s parents and children, friends, or intimate partners, expectations bring about all sorts of emotions.
I have learned that I am totally responsible for my own happiness, if someone does something that’s not aligned with my way of thinking, in order to feel less anxious I need to detach myself from expectation and sometimes from the person.
Yes, I know it is fab when we have others in our world who are so aligned with our beliefs and with whom we can feel totally at ease with , but it’s important to remember that we are not responsible for the thoughts and actions of others and if they try to drag us down by passing on their expectations then move away or step back.
The world does not revolve around me and I don’t need everyone I meet to think like me in order to be happy. (Slap my head… I am still working on this )
I work on letting go of needing others to be a certain way and of letting go understanding everyone has their own groove and that they too may need me to be a certain way for their own happiness and so the craziness continues.
Have you got any beliefs, or needs of others to suit your ways of thinking?
Do you get frustrated or needy if somebody else acts in a way that you don’t understand?
Do you have expectations of others and feel let down if they aren’t met?
If so it may be time for you too to stop expecting and start appreciating.
Stop having limited conditions on your happiness tied to other people’s behaviour.
If you are constantly frustrated by another person, ask yourself why?
Are they not behaving in a way in which you needed them to?
What is your need and why do you expect the other person to give it to you?
No one is responsible for your happiness or unhappiness.
Start owning your happiness and appreciate it’s an individual recipe.
Be around others who you expect nothing from and instead appreciate everything they do.
I put the challenge to you.
It’s not easy to let others be, especially when they are pulling at you to be a certain way.
But it is possible.
Start today, let go of expectation, of needing and hold on to your individuality and courage to be you, the true you.
Like I said recently it’s not your business to like me it’s mine.
And it’s not my business to like you it’s yours
I challenge you to 3 days no expectation just appreciation and awareness.